Updated: Apr 22
you ever made small talk with a Widow?
Most people actually do not engage in small talks with folks with "hard lives".
They do not know what to say.
When I'm just like you, I ALSO do not know what to say you.
Often times I'm trying my hardest to distract you from having to ask me the question which is answered by the phrase that will instantly rid you of your wit & turn you off from getting to know me.
I've always known this.. this is why I would use my marital status as a dude repellent
We are fixers, all of us. That's why we stop ourselves from engaging into conversations & topics we have "no expertise" on.
"I just don't know what to say"
Heck. I still do it ...
Widowhood is not just grief. Although today is a high grieving day for me...
Some days are.. high grief days... More rarely now, but they happen.
Widowhood is also the encyclopedia of a love story. It's full of stories & memories of the many times one's laughed & loved a person who's life & essence has now been transferred to how we have experienced them and what they've instilled in us.
In good & in bad.. my spouse now lives in the tales of our stories. On the same day he is a hero and he is human, depending on who is telling it.
So allow us widow(er)s to revive them just for a moment, to process this memory that's just flooded us with one feeling or another.
Often time that feeling is new... you're often witnessing a breakthrough.
Receive us & help us recalibrate. Land an ear, hold our hand, laugh with us, cry with us, tell a joke (no matter how morbid), relate, share your experience, connect with us...
Small talk is for connection.
I will always remember the first time I talked
about it without shedding a tear ... thanks for receiving me!
🌸 Your Friendly Neighborhood Widow