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Widowhood, from the perspective of a Domestic Violence Surviving Widow

  • Writer's pictureLudwine Johnson

Third [De]Cadence 

Updated: Apr 22, 2020

A cadence is a sequence of notes/chords closing a musical phrase.

As I close my third decade of life, I am fascinated by how powerful the mind can be.

In just one decade my mind has lived a thousand lives and while on some days my heart and my body felt like it could not keep up.

He we are, thirty, flirty and hungry!

In one decade I have fallen in love, gotten married, built a home, faced humanity at its darkest, faced my deepest fears, lost a complicated love, lost my self esteem, lost my home, sought out God, sought out myself, found self respect, rebuilt my self esteem, rebuilt myself as a home.

When I entered this last decade, my mind was weak and easily swayed to accept pain as the norm.

It convinced me that I never deserved the happy that I get to live today.

A decade ago: my mind used to tell me of a girl who was too dirty to deserve more, not smart enough to achieve more and not strong enough to overcome all.


I was wrong, so I had to renew my mind and talk to this loving and lost girl and remind her that she is life roaming this earth and what a selfish girl she would be, if she didn't live up to the priviledge of drawing a breath everyday.

So I said - Mind?

This girl is worthy of all great things under the sun.

It's her right as a human being to wake up daily and to walk forward in all of her strength of conviction.

Believe in spite of doubt that she owes it to herself to heal this broken body and soul.

The mind is amazing - Post Traumatic growth is incredible.

Because you do not see its fruits everyday.

But then you make a list of accomplishments one decade later & you realize; all it takes is to choose happy.

On the darkest of all the days.

All it takes is to choose you, whether you're someone else's choice or not. Be your own choice.

Whether you're invited to the table or not, build your own table.

Most importantly ... unlearn to live the lie that makes the world around you comfortable.

Burn bridges, paint towns red, accept loss, accept change. Look at it in the face & tell it the role you've decided it's going to play in your healing.

Look up a decade later and stand in awe of how incredibly strong the mind is.

And remember: it was all you! 💕

A cadence is a sequence of notes/chords closing a musical phrase.

This has been the cadence to my twenties, closing the predule to my thirties.


🌸 #YourFriendlyNeighborhoodWidow


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